Tu or vous: a decision guide
The choice is about relationship, not just politeness. Getting it wrong is rarely a disaster, but it does send a message. Choose a situation to see the expected form. The same choices exist in English; compare with our guide to formal letters in English.
Spoken French vs written French
Everyday spoken French follows its own grammar. None of these is a mistake in speech, but all would look careless in an essay. Many are also covered from the listener’s side in French listening.
| Feature | Spoken | Written |
|---|---|---|
| Negation | ||
| We | ||
| Questions | ||
| Ça vs cela | ||
| Il y a | ||
| Emphasis |
Three words for one thing
Many everyday words have a familiar and a formal equivalent. The standard word in the middle is correct in every situation.
Opening and closing messages
French written greetings and sign-offs are more fixed than English ones. Formal letters still close with a full sentence. Choose by how well you know the reader.
One request, three registers
Asking to borrow a book: from a friend, a colleague and in a formal email. Every word has its English meaning underneath.
Je vous prie de bien vouloir…
Above everyday polite French sits le registre soutenu, used in official letters, speeches and very formal service. You need to recognise it even if you rarely produce it.
On se tutoie ? Au bureau
Workplaces vary. Start-ups use tu with everyone; banks and the civil service keep vous. When unsure, use vous and wait for the offer.